On my way home this evening I found myself asking a significant but oft overlooked question. The question is this; “Do I want to be happy or will I be satisfied with being content?” The reason I think this question is often overlooked is because most people associate the two things together. Most folks, in my wealth of experience satisfy themselves with one and assume it fulfills the other. This is to say most people affiliate being content with their existence equates to their being happy with their lives.

In light of this evening’s rather odd revelations I have to kindly disagree. As I was walking home this evening this question struck me in a rather odd fashion. I walked past a clearly comfortable home and saw an animal, presumably a black collie, laying quite contentedly on the hardwood floor sleeping. At the time I thought to myself “I wish I were as content as thought pup.” However, soon after I realized I didn’t actually wish I was as happy as that pup. In fact I am as happy as that pup. I lead a relatively healthy life, sleep in a warm comfortable place with familiar and non-threatening surroundings. Call me cynical all you want but this is how I qualify contentment. My internal statement about the contentment of that pup made me ask myself if I was content, and when I decided I was I asked myself if I was happy. When I decided I wasn’t happy I asked myself well what the hell is the difference.

At this point I have no answer because to be honest I have found myself quite happy any number of times within the bounds of my current circumstances. However on looking back I realize the happiness was merely fleeting during my times of contentment. I was happy while I was dating certain people because they brought me joy. I was happy while I was working on certain projects because they brought me joy. No matter though, during every case I found my happiness and joy to be fleeting.

This of course brought me to the academic question: what would make me truly happy with my life and existence. Asking myself this question made me realize that during each period of happiness there was something sustaining the rest of my being. This leads me to believe that if I combine the experiences I can find what would bring me real and lasting happiness rather than simple periodic contentment.

• Interesting and hence challenging work
• Honest and lasting friendships
• Challenging and complementary female companionship
• Fulfilling though perhaps standard sex life

Each of these things have in turn brought me a great amount of joy but rarely have I had more than two occurring simultaneously. Presumably I would need all four of these things to be truly happy though I can honestly say I don’t expect I’ll ever know for sure. Perhaps that is a commentary on how I expect my life to play out but I take no shame in it. I don’t expect many people ever achieve real true happiness.

I had planned for my next couple of posts to be regarding An Event Apart in Boston which I attended but for whatever reason I could just never force myself to sit in one place long enough to actually write them. This is not to say there weren’t things worth writing about, far from it. Every single speaker I heard was outstanding but I’ll be honest two full days of it and once I got home I felt like I was on web design and web development overload.

As a result I think I have given up writing reviews of talks which happened nearly a month ago now, but there were things there I do want to write about just not with a direct relationship to An Event Apart.

I had also intended to do a lot more writing about MooTools as a result of my working with MooTools and upgrading a number of scripts I had written to the be compatible with the new version but my free time for the work I wanted to do with those scripts has dwindled to non-existence. So here I am trying to figure out what my priorities are for my personal development and I find myself wanting to be comfortable taking on more freelance work which in my mind means significantly improving my design skills because I haven’t heard of enough people wanting to hire a pure coder for the short term which is basically where my skills are.

Happy Independence Day America!